Forum de discussion francophone sur les chirurgies esthétiques et autres au Québec.
AccueilAccueil  FAQFAQ  S'enregistrerS'enregistrer  ConnexionConnexion  

Partagez | 

 une joke en anglais, mais elle en vaut vraiement la peine LIRE AU COMPLET vous allez vous tordre de rire

Aller en bas 
Je suis en train de devenir accroc
Je suis en train de devenir accroc

Age : 51
Nombre de messages : 294
Mon patelin : Laurentides
Chirurgie désirée : A.M. entre 300 et 325 mentor gel sous le muscle profil modere plus Il a mis 375 cc pour eviter un redrapage

MessageSujet: une joke en anglais, mais elle en vaut vraiement la peine LIRE AU COMPLET vous allez vous tordre de rire   Lun 27 Juil 2009, 21:41

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,

painless removal - The epilady, scissors,razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play

with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind

for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the

medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my


the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump f hot

wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get arm and you

peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull

the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a

genius, but I am mechanically inclined enouh to figure this out. (YA


So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strip's facing each other

stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I

get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.

("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin

around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but

it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am

She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin


With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak

back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop

my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my

bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the

inside of my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long


I inhale deeply and brace myself.........RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH M Y GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the

strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and

spotted. I think I may pass out...........must stay conscious...Do I hear

crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so

much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory

that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on

it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the


The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now

covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...

.....remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do

something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a

cell door.


Sealed shut!


Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think

to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"

What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run

the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the

wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off,

right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter

than that used to

torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now the

only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having

them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the scalding

hot water.

Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of

the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put

in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before

and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation

starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glue together to the bottom of the

tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for

removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know

exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now.....I can hear her. I give her the rundown

and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various

solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels

better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut,

stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax

off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and

I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this


My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the

lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose

at this point? I rub some on and OH MY WORD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a

hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove

the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR

IS STILL HERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off.

Heck, I'm numb by now.

Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......
Revenir en haut Aller en bas
une joke en anglais, mais elle en vaut vraiement la peine LIRE AU COMPLET vous allez vous tordre de rire
Revenir en haut 
Page 1 sur 1
 Sujets similaires
» une joke en anglais, mais elle en vaut vraiement la peine LIRE AU COMPLET vous allez vous tordre de rire
» contrat vaut-il facture ?
» ma fille ne veut pas sauter de classe (nous non plus mais...)
» Plus souvent par ici, mais...
» Endormissement long ... je sature !

Permission de ce forum:Vous ne pouvez pas répondre aux sujets dans ce forum :: Ici le "Chit Chat"... :: La thérapie par le rire-
Sauter vers: